How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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