I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
