The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
