so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
