The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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