I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
