Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
honey bunches of taint.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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