Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
