i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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