Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Randomize
