i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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