Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
