You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you win again, gameday.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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