dude i'm inner monologue high
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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