he shaved USA in his pubs
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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