just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
