I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
