Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
