kristin has been a bad kristin
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
