I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
if only i could text you this smell
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
