Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
It's never too late to be topless.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
