I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
