hotel room ftw
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
