My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
