ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
