He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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