Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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