I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
