I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
