My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
she told me i tasted like america
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
