is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
