He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
