At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
