Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Did I show you my penis last night?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
