If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
