I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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