Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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