she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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