I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
