So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
