why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Randomize
