Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
