what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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