She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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