Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I can't put those talents on a resume
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
