Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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