It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
