I wish I could punch you in the face.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
