He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
