Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
