i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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