everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I have fence marks all over my body
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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