wake up i wanna do it froggy style
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Are we still banned from the library?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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