I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
